Whatever

It’s time for another installment about my attempts to learn Mandarin Chinese. This is a never-ending series. That’s because it’s a never-ending quest.

I’m an “intermediate” student. I was an intermediate student four years ago. I’ll be an intermediate student four years from now. My parents taught me that I should strive for consistency. Is this what they had in mind?

Anyway, I eventually decided I’d rather have a solid grasp of the basic stuff than a fuzzy grasp of a larger scope.

It never ceases to amaze me how the basic stuff can hide in plain sight. Textbook language and street language are two different species.

I hired a tutor to help me revisit the most practical and basic of things. She is married to an airline crew member and she’s got an appreciation for the practical side of communications and travel. Practicality, not fashion, is the goal here.

The big picture here isn’t the actual Chinese translations. I’ll spare you those details. The big picture is that we found these terms to be important and yet they went overlooked (by me) for so long. I’d want to know these terms in just about any language:

1) “McDonald’s”

One audio course I took taught the term “reindeer milk” in Chinese. That stuck in my head, but darned if I could ever remember, if in fact I ever knew to begin with, how to say “McDonald’s.”

According to an Aug. 8 article in USA Today, there are currently 2,500 McDonald’s in China. This number is expected to increase to 4,500 by the year 2022. The worldwide tally stands at about 37,000.

I’ve had Chinese colleagues on Saipan, in Guam, and elsewhere specifically request McDonald’s when it was time to eat. It’s not just an American thing. For my colleagues and I, it’s a good word to know.

2) “KFC”

KFC has even more restaurants than McDonald’s does in China. According to a company website there are over 5,000 KFC restaurants in China.

3) “Whatever”

This word enjoyed favor as part of California’s “Valley Girl” lingo in the 1980s. The “valley” refers to a sprawling, concrete-and-freeway expanse of the San Fernando Valley in the Los Angeles area.

“Whatever” can do doubly duty with nearly opposite meanings. In one sense it can be a term of dismissal. In another sense it can be a term granting assent, as in, “Whatever you want to do is OK with me.”

It’s the latter meaning that I’m interested in here. Here’s a random slice of life from my little corner of the world:

“Dude, what do you want to eat?”

“Whatever.”

“Is KFC all right?”

“Sure.”

“When do you want to go?”

“Whenever.”

“Cool. Let’s make it two-o’clock.”

“OK.”

This is probably about how 80 percent of my conversations go. Life has proven to be just a bigger version of high school. Like, totally, for sure.

4) “I emphatically do not care about politics”

I’ve found myself in a few situations internationally where an American in the group wants to stir up political discussions. Being able to immediately dissociate myself from that behavior is an important skill.

5) “None of your business”

I haven’t field tested this one yet, and I’d be careful where I use it, but I like having it in my hip pocket anyway. I’d probably employ a more diplomatic spin, such as “I don’t understand why this matter is your concern.”

•••

Those are the words and phrases the tutor taught me during our first session. Yeah, I’m still stuck at the intermediate level, but, well, whatever.