The unacceptable culture of silence

Sexual assault victims all over the CNMI were urged to speak up and report incidences of sexual assault and sexual harassment.

This was the message behind acting governor Arnold I. Palacios’ proclamation of April as Sexual Assault Awareness Month last Friday morning at the Pedro P. Tenorio Multi-Purpose Center in Susupe.

This year’s theme is, “I ask”; it refers to the act of giving consent.

Sexual assault is commonly defined as any sexual act without consent, such as molestation, harassment, and rape, among others.

“Sexual assault does not discriminate. While some populations, like children, are more vulnerable, anyone can be a victim of sexual assault, regardless of age, gender, sexual orientation, faith, socioeconomic status, or ability,” the proclamation noted.

Keynote speaker Kiki I. Benjamin said this was a reality she had to face twice as a child and once as a young adult.

“Growing up, I was taught the stranger danger concept and the buddy system concept. Don’t talk to strangers and always have someone follow you,” Benjamin recalled. “But the sad reality is that most sexual assaults are committed by someone the victim once loved or trusted—a family member, a friend, acquaintance, or a person with authority,” she said.

Benjamin shared her story of being molested twice by an uncle as well as being raped by a relative of her mother, who was a member of a gubernatorial Cabinet at the time.

The Saipan Tribune normally does not identify rape victims, but is naming Benjamin here because she has agreed to share her story.

“Sexual assault continues to happen because we remain silent. Whether we are the victims or bystanders, we see it, yet we say nothing,” she said. “…Until we speak up, offenders will continue to offend. Sexual assault is the most underreported crime and studies show that sex offenders, on average, will reoffend several more times before they are reported. That could have been my loved one or me several more times. …The worry that burdens my mind is wondering if my offenders had offended a new victim because of my silence.”

“I blame our culture of silence and taboo, the negative cultural responses, attitudes and social stigma that allow this horrific soul-sucking crime to exist. We have to be comfortable to talk about sexual assault in order to stop it in one generation,” she said.

Northern Marianas Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence executive director Maisie Tenorio noted that there are several organizations that are willing to help victims of sexual assault such as Karidat Social Services.

“[Karidat] has a 24-hour confidential hotline, the number is 234-5100 for any survivor of sexual assault and sexual violence if they need help or need to talk to somebody,” she said.

The organization, Tenorio noted, also assists with referrals to services and also have access to 24-hour shelters if needed.

“Based on the number of people we talked to, we believe that sexual violence and sexual assault is extremely prevalent,” she said, quoting Benjamin when she said it is a very underreported crime. “It is even more so for people of Pacific island or Asian descent because of the cultural practices of silence and shame that many are raised with,” she added.

For every report of sexual assault, Tenorio said there are many more that are unreported.

“We have talked to survivors who never talked about it even up to their 50s and 60s,” she said.