The supernatural can opener

This summer all the cool kids seem to be having fun while I’m stuck on the sidelines. For example, the annual Qingdao Beer Festival, billed as Asia’s Octoberfest, is running from July 20 through Aug. 26 in Qingdao, China. The promotional website, “ThatsQingdao.com,” has information on the event.

If you’re looking for a break from hot weather you won’t find it there, though. It’s reported as 90 degrees with high humidity.

But, hey: beer!

Qingdao is home of the Tsingtao brewery, which, incidentally, was originally German. The Germans know a thing or two about beer. Saipan, for its part, isn’t exactly alien to the concept of beer, either, and Tsingtao has long been a fixture of island life.

In fact, it was when I once ordered a bottle of Tsingtao in Susupe that I got my first hint about the challenges of speaking Chinese. Along with that cold, green bottle of brew, I was given a lesson in pronunciation so I could sound more savvy the second time around. The term “Tsingtao” is an old-style Western convention for what is now written as “Qingdao.” The word in Chinese script didn’t change at all, nor did the actual pronunciation. As for the Western representation, the newer method is a lot closer to the correct pronunciation than the old way.

Alas, this isn’t the last word on the general Westernization-and-phonetic issue. Competing methods, both contemporary as well as legacy, are still players. “Tsingtao” is an example of the legacy realm, where an old spelling has become so established and recognized that it seems cemented into the scene.

Anyway, when I bellied up to that particular beer over 20 years ago, I had no idea that I’d wind up putting some real effort into learning that exotic language.

So it would only seem fair that I get to enjoy the Qingdao festival this year, but life isn’t fair. Circumstances have given me very meager consolation prize: I’m going to a Chinese market.

And at that Chinese market I will be looking for a can opener.

Not that I need a can opener, but that word is a recent addition to my study list. And, like all new words, it must be field tested before I can put it on active duty.

This field testing is dicey stuff. It’s an entirely different proposition than trying a new word out on a friend or a tutor; they’ll try to be helpful, they’ll give me their full attention, and they’ll struggle to understand me. This overly-kind treatment is what I don’t want from field testing. No, I want someone who is busy and distracted.

From my experience, about one-third of my new words crash and burn. That’s one heck of a casualty rate. The main problem is when the word in the dictionary (or even in a textbook) isn’t the word that’s most commonly used on the street (or at least on that street). Of course, my own ineptitude often plays a role as well, either leading or supporting.

Anyway, doing the crash-and-burn during field testing presents the challenge of figuring out which word should have been used instead. Having a pad and a pen in pocket is the best way to go here. I have a stash of really small pads for just this purpose.

When presented with a pad and pen, the Chinese have always been patient and gracious and, to the extent they can figure out what I’m after, they’ll write down the word that I should have used. Whether I can actually read that writing is another matter entirely, but at least I’ll have a clue to work with.

The other new word on my list is “supernatural.” I have more confidence that this word will pass muster afield. It appears to be a very straightforward term comprised of, yes, “super” and, yes again, “natural.” As nice as that is, I’ve yet to come up with a plan to test the word at the market during my can opener mission.

Anyway, while some people are enjoying the suds in Qingdao, I’m still stuck in remedial status in Chinese. In the meantime, if any readers have been to the Qingdao Beer Festival I’d welcome their insights. I’m tempted to make the trip next year. No, my language skills won’t improve much by then, but at least I’ve got plenty of time to stock up on some more pads.