Nuggets of wisdom for new mothers

The Osungs with 2-year-old Ezra. “My husband and I have wanted children for so long that every step of early infancy really was a joy,” she said. (CONTRIBUTED PHOTO)

Francisco Sablan Middle School principal Cherlyn Brel Cabrera Osung knows a lot about the emotional seesaw of being a new mom. As a mother to energetic and fun-loving 2-year-old Ezra (or Ezzy Bobo, as he is known in Nigerian), Osung is just thankful for the strong support she and her husband get from family and friends that allows her respond to the challenges new motherhood brings.

Another challenge is that Osung is not your typical young mother. Compared to her peers, Osung was already in her early 40’s when she started her family.

While she still has a lot to learn about motherhood, Osung says, “I am blessed to be both Chamorro, from my father, and Palauan, from my mother. I’m blessed to be from both cultures and families where support for new babies is a willing sacrifice many in my family are willing to do.”

Osung and her husband, who is also a lifelong educator, were married in Palau just three years ago. Osung believes that starting a family at a later age has its benefits. “Since I am a new older mom, it’s wonderful to have the wisdom of having lived a while. I already had the resources and life experiences I needed in raising our son. I just wish I had the energy I had when I was 20,” she said.

While support from relatives and family may be readily available for young mothers in the community, many still struggle with the basics of finding a steady income or at times, food, shelter and medical care. But help is available.

“For moms currently in school, we do have great community resource of childcare through the Department of Community and Cultural Affairs. We also have many partnering agencies that can help new moms. The biggest hurdle would be to know what agencies to contact for what help,” Osung said.

Two-year-old Ezra is the delight of the Osung family. His mom Cherlyn describes him as a big lover of monster trucks and dinosaurs alike. (CONTRIBUTED PHOTO)

In the U.S., a Pew Research Center poll shows that the average age of women at their first birth has increased steadily over the last decade. Recent data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention show that the average woman gave birth for the first time at 27 years old, up from the 2011 data of 25 years old when she first gave birth to her first child.

For new moms, Osung shares these tips that helped her during her son Ezra’s early days.

1. Get help so you can sleep and shower in peace. “I remember hearing this advice before my son was born—sleep when the baby sleeps. Sleep deprivation can take a toll on the body and mind,” said Osung. Naps are a rejuvenating way to relax, especially for new mothers, so don’t be afraid to ask a family member or a friend to watch your child while you take some time to rest and sleep.

2. Enjoy connecting with your baby. They are extremely smart and will remember and benefit from the quality time you spend with them.

4. See your doctor if you have postpartum depression or start thinking unusual thoughts.

5. Co-parenting helps. “We are humans with many limitations. It’s not possible to be all things to all people—career woman, amazing wife, and awesome mom all at the same time. When babies are little, they demand so much of our time and energy as moms because they are helpless and fully dependent on us for their survival. My husband and I have wanted children for so long that it really was a joy, every step of early infancy. Eventually, we just accepted that our schedule had to revolve around our son in his early years.”

6. Reach out to other moms. Moms are always willing to give advice and help new moms with their struggles. Schedule regular babysitting so new moms can take care of themselves and relax. It is overwhelming to be a mom as it’s an awesome responsibility to raise a little human. But there is help out there if moms are willing to search and ask around.

6. Have faith. One amazing resource is God. He answers prayers and we can talk to him anytime 24/7.

The greatest takeaway about motherhood? Osung shares several of them. “I learned how amazing it is to love another human so much. It’s made me love and have a softer spot in my heart for little babies and little kids even more. I’ve learned how inspiring kids can be to help us want great things for them. I’ve come to appreciate my own parents and other parents even more for the years of sacrifice and love. Most importantly, it helped me to understand how Divine Providence loves and accepts us despite our imperfections.”