Navigating lame advice

Sailing into the golden years is irreversible and each of us would eventually reach this part in our life’s journey. Indeed, there was a sense of nostalgia as I revisited some 40 active years of my younger days, people I’ve met, things I’ve done or didn’t do, and advice I’ve taken or ignored from people.

It’s an interesting issue, though, prying into the psychology of why people seek advice. Do they really need it because they’re ready to make major changes in their lives? Or was it another half-cocked act in the cocktail of advices they never follow? Hell, I’ve also had my share of advice seeking or giving which I’ve failed to follow royally too. Be that as it may…

DPS should have taken the lead, testing its officers for drug use. Surprising, though, that CPA did it and now DPS is threatening to follow suit. Something doesn’t add up, di ba?

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On a larger scale, the feds no longer wish to offer advice to the NMI. We messed it all up and so it took over immigration, minimum wage, labor and health. We fired back with empty shells of our rights to self-government. Anyway, it is highly advisable too that it takes over the Legislature. It should result in huge savings for taxpayers!

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Notice how friends turn into instant doctors when they hear you coughing? I don’t mind the well-intended advice but when would they learn that they lack medical school competency, therefore, each is a non-MD? Gee! The cocktail of medicine they lip-off are sufficient to cure my cough instantly after a mouthful of bombardment.

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We tell young girls “not to get pregnant.” It subsequently shifted to “practice safe sex.” Now they jump into the back seat of the car asking Mr. Cool, “Your condom or my condom?” No more da kine “condo.” It’s condom!

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Met another non-doctor who said that I should eat salt to neutralize the sugar level in my blood. How do I absolve myself from unsolicited stupidity?

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The kind of advice I despise the most are those hailing from without telling us what we already know. I mean do they know that we also went to school and learned how to read, write, speak and do simple math? Why hurl things we’ve heard a long, long time ago? Eh, we weren’t born yesterday lai, sayu?

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Then we hear layman’s ruling that Article 12 is “unconstitutional,” even scaffolding their argument with the fancy term “equality.” I suppose it’s okay to sound intelligent. Thanks that it isn’t a court adjudicated opinion. So, it’s a half-cocked layman’s assertion at best, an unsolicited opinion at worse. Uncle Sam has given Native Americans ownership of their land. What’s good for the goose is also good for the gander, right?

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Used to buy “happy meal” for my grand kids until the new health premium took the wind out of my pocketbooks. It became a very “unhappy meal” as the kids settled for grandma’s cooking.

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Political promises have been made for many, many moons, all of which were never delivered. If such is the case, why engage in another set of lunacy and redundancy? Don’t these politicians know that we know that they’re literally clueless? Hello? Anybody home, lai? Could we stop this insanity?

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Why do doctors tell patients with lung cancer to stop smoking? Or is it one of those “fill-in-the-blanks” moments when there’s nothing else constructive to spout?

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How do you talk sense into an alcoholic who begins and ends his day with liquor until he’s punched drunk? This guy must have missed so many sunsets, di ba?

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I came into the journalism profession by design from upstairs. Eventually, I completed academic competency in journalism graced by years of trials and tribulations—actual experience. The only way to learn news writing or writing itself is to write, daily. Must also stay on top of issues…read, read, and yes, read!

The only advice I took came from my professor who said, “If you failed to make a sixth grader understand your piece then you’ve failed.” My vocabulary, though, is dependent on my target audience. He added that I should use the KISS concept each trip to the mound: Keep It Simple, Stupid! I think I’ve succeeded.

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There are three kinds of people: Those who make things happen, those who watch what happened, and the bunch that didn’t know what happened.

In the case of our people, they are asking if the elected elite even know what happened under their charge as “Do-Nothings.” This is the elected bunch that didn’t know what happened! Seesuzzz!

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My giant Chamorro friend weighing over 400 pounds was boasting he would begin a rigorous diet regimen. That’s what he said three decades ago. Today, he’s stuck to a wheelchair, his knees buckling when he tries to stand up. Advice: None! I mean how do you talk to a 400-pound pig?

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At a store that sells human brain, my friend was curious why the Chamorro brain is the largest of them all. Said the cashier, “Oh! Never used!” That explains the problems at home or usual conundrum, di ba?

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A certain blogger who hides behind the alias SiTunJose hit the undersigned with sarcasm for being an informed citizen. Apparently, the blogger needs remedial work on his reading comprehension and diction. Let me know if you need reading materials.

If he fails grasping sixth grade level write-ups, apparently he flunks even initial apprehension of simple materials, di ba? Why should I be faulted for his reading inadequacies? How do you fare when issues boil down to what’s known as “educated” or knowledge-based discussions?