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Hey, Gary DuBrall
Congratulations! You’ve made it to the A list. Hundreds of readers of the local newspapers now bypass your never-ending missives, and for good reason.
You have accomplished in the few short months since you came back to Saipan what it took years for Ambrose I-Told-You-So Bennett and John The-Jailbird-With-Too-Much-Time-On-His-Hands Pangelinan to do. Readers see your name at the bottom of a letter to the editor and automatically skip to the next letter.
Like them, you seem convinced that you are the arbiter of good judgment and a storehouse of knowledge others marvel at. You also labor under the delusion that the rest of us want to hear your opinion about everything every day. Flash…no we don’t. In fact you’ve become the butt of the same kind of jokes Ambrose gets heaped on him. Your writing style is a bit better, but your content has the same proselytizing reformer message that drips from both the other too-frequent letter writers.
Lest you think that this letter is just an individual ad hominem attack, please rest assured that while I do disagree with most of your predictable I Know Everything opinions, most of my acquaintances that generally agree with your unhappy white guy-style ramblings now also tune you out.
I assume you write these because you think others read them. Those with patience did read the first 20 or 30 but have since put the mental blue pencil line through your daily offering. So do yourself a favor. Get a job or get a hobby or just put a cork in it for a while. Save a tree.
I’m guessing that you will read this, get all upset, and want to pen a rebuttal letter to say I’m closed-minded or take aim at my overuse of the hyphen or some such drivel. Save yourself that effort too, Gary, as you can be sure I won’t be reading it. You could announce that I was the lucky winner of a million smackers but I would miss the message…for years.
Frank Mitchell
Garapan, Saipan
