Comically redundant

Let’s slide into bland, if not comedy material, we’ve seen and heard in recent past. Some are serious but so royally mishandled it’s ridiculously comical. Occasionally it’s good to slip into humor just to ease our troubled minds. Here goes:

A dysfunctional Legislature ignores its own inadequacies, lecturing CHC it must work together—board and CEO. Legislators conveniently ignored that initial failure started at its door when it simply denied funding for the hospital for several years now. What gall lecturing when the greater failure is on its side! Einstein said two things he can’t stand, the universe and stupidity! Which side are you on leyisleche?

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China has begun cracking down on the huge production of crystal meth, according to a story in the SCMP. This move should bring its “loose” pharmaceutical industry under its radar screen to slam global production of the lethal substance. This, plus purging corruption on gambling, ought to do the global community good moving forward.

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Legislators and the administration aren’t on the same page on the issue of divert airport. The legislators are still trying to come to terms with what it should do while the administration has begun talking to top guns from the Department of Defense. A good example where the left hand doesn’t necessarily know what the right hand is doing.

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CUC ought to know that the hospital and schools aren’t out to make a profit. One teaches our children, the other works the clock to heal our people. Therefore both entities must be given the “preferred rate” over others. I suppose CUC’s CEO needs even a used anchor to come to terms with this issue.

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Pharmaceuticals demonized use of coconut until a study confirmed otherwise. I mean, how do you disparage a part of our daily diet that has kept us healthy for thousands of years?

Then came “no more red meat.” Now health experts say carbohydrates is the culprit in the formation of fat that is lodged in our arteries. So more red meat is in order? Eh, moderation is the answer!

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Magoo has gone to his friend and loaned money one too many times. His friend got tired and recently refused him outright. Said Magoo, “Then how can I pay you if you don’t loan me some more?” None wanted to get into discussing principal and principle owed! Ooops!

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The NMI has seen an historic number of shipwrecked passengers struggling in the Sea of Bankruptcy. Most are now suffering for hypoxia but would slug it out until they no longer could see daylight. What a way to sail into the sunset.

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The SCC is looking for used anchor to donate to Rep. Roman Benavente to prevent the price of basic goods from skyrocketing. A member of the Chamber said the help should give the representative some time to figure out the beast as a policymaker.

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A grammar school kid and friends were walking home after school. Would you believe they are talking about the bad economy? Perhaps we ought to bring a busload of them to Capital Hill for a day’s excursion at the lawn between the administration and the Legislature.

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Three billionaires paid for the billion-dollar casino or City of Dreams in Manila. Ours would be financed via the sale of stocks by BSI’s parent company in the Hong Kong Stock Exchange. Sale of stock is riddled with the unknown or what tomorrow may bring. Pro-casino legislators should be grilled for their thorough review of the issue.

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Some public officials are advocating raising the price of local produce—fish and veggies—to the level of Honolulu. Ever considered improving the disposable income of employees from both sectors before jumping from the kettle into the frying pan? Stagnancy of wages and salaries has been around for over a decade now. See if this could be resolved first and foremost.

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My friend goes to confession everyday. That it seems habitual, the priest bought himself and iPod equipped with headphone. He puts it on while my friend confesses. He moves his head to and fro following the beat. The head movement had my friend convinced he’s got the full attention of the priest. A`saina!

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Some have braved calling Cabinet level appointments non-political. Ooops! I see that Obama’s semantic somersault on the term “terrorism” has descended into the islands. “Political” is a singular word, not trilateral. Check your dictionary or thesaurus and pay close attention to the definiens—word that defines the term—to secure clarity. Braving loose spouts isn’t doing the issue any justice.