Bereaved parents mark second year of ‘remembering’

Members of the bereaved parents community, legislators, and Lt. Gov. Arnold I. Palacios pose for a picture yesterday at the Office of the Governor on Capital Hill. (MARC A. VENUS)

The bereaved parents’ community on Saipan, led by Tania Marie Mendiola, marked its second year of spreading its advocacy of unity among parents who have lost their children by commemorating this month as National Bereaved Parents Awareness Month and yesterday, July 25, as a day of remembrance of the children who have passed away.

Lt. Gov. Arnold I. Palacios, acting in place of Gov. Ralph DLG Torres, expressed his condolences to the families who have experienced losses and hopes for the best to them. He also encourages the CNMI community to offer compassion and support to bereaved parents as they grieve, and he asks that the community educates themselves about the grieving process and remain mindful of the bereaved community and hope for their strength and healing.

Mendiola, who lost her 16-year-old son three years ago, understands the struggles that parents go through and that few recognize that these parents go through depression, frustration, anger, resentment, hatred, loneliness, bargaining, anxiety, confusion, and many others.

Mendiola said that she tries to educate people through her Facebook account as she posts about the do’s and don’ts about how to approach a bereaving parent and how to ask them questions. She has seen parents who have been grieving for over five years and never left their homes, parents who have seen more tragedies occur after the loss of their child, and many more cases of the struggles a bereaved parent goes through.

“I have been through my parents passing away and I felt bad…but when my son passed away, I felt like I lost everything,” she said.

It helps her process her grief by working with other bereaved parents, listening to stories of their struggles, and letting them grieve for their loss.

In the United States alone, parents of over 50,000 children face the tragedy of losing a child. Bereaved parents may also encounter lack of self-care, failed marital/partner relationships, mortality due to illness or suicide, loss of friendships, and separation of families.

The group, together with We Remember Them CNMI, hosted a “Walk to Remember” last night at the Minachom Atdao, honoring all the children who’ve lost their lives and commemorating the strength and struggles these parents go through, especially in times of loss.