Paying attention to life

“Attention! Attention must be paid!” shouts Willie Loman in the superb American classic play Death of a Salesman. Willie is a down and out salesman begging that someone pay attention to him and his needs. He has worked hard all his life. As he grows older, he feels that he has missed something. So he cries out for “Attention.” But poor Willy never gets the message. Throughout his life he has failed to pay attention to what is important in any person’s life.

There are few things more important in life than “paying attention.” Are we paying attention to what we are doing to ourselves? Are we paying attention to our children? To our nation? To the things that affect our lives? To our environment? To our work?

When we pay attention, we muster up all our resources of intelligence, feelings, and moral sensitivity. When we pay attention, we focus. When we pay attention, we understand and plan.

However often we fall prey to distractions which destroy our acts of paying attention. And therein lies most of the dilemmas we face that cause us great grief. As a result many of us try to escape into alcohol, drugs, compulsive promiscuity, and yes, even into TV channel-flipping watching. We try to escape.

“Attention” is one of the key elements of many religions. For example, we cannot pray unless we pay attention to the words and focus our thoughts on God. We cannot meditate in Zen Buddhism without paying attention. Other forms of attention are practiced when we read a book, drive our cars, talk to someone we love, or even when we cook the family meal. Attention must be constant or we fall into problems.

To better understand “attention” and its influence in our daily life, we must realize that it is part of the social institutions that we live in. We do not attempt self-control and self-discipline in isolation, but in the institutions we live in. And it is important to pay attention to these institutions or they will fail us in our needs. After all, institutions are man-made and require attention also.

For many of us, the family is “a haven in a heartless world.” But to create a perfect haven, or a loving family, we must pay “attention.” Despite the romantic fantasies, families require a great deal of attention to function successfully. Attending to each other, expressing our deepest concerns and aspirations, and listening to those of the other person are fundamental in a good marriage and crucial to the personal satisfaction it provides.

While attention is important between marriage partners, it is fundamental for children. There is nothing more important than the quality of our young people, yet most of us consistently refuse to “pay attention” to this fact. We simply do not find enough time to care for them. As a result children are feeling more and more the effects of this subtle neglect. We do not pay enough attention to helping them make decisions in their lives. They crave our attention but how often do we listen? And then we wonder what happened to them when they fail.

The role of the homemaker has been devalued as more mothers take outside jobs. The care of the children and the household is passed on to low-paid housekeepers, babysitters and daycare workers. However many times because of financial necessity, this situation cannot be avoided. But families can meet this new challenge if both parents share the responsibilities of fulfilling emotional needs, not just economic.

We live in a society that is obsessively concerned with making money. And money is the major form of distraction. Instead of paying “attention” to building wholesome relationships with family members and friends, we are distracted by the pursuit of money.

Here in the CNMI, consequences of this distraction can be seen in the increasing number of children with emotional problems. As parents spend more time outside the home, divorces increase. This is often coupled with a gradual alienation among citizens. There simply isn’t time enough to “pay attention.”

Fewer families sit down to enjoy dinners together than ever before. We “graze” on food from some fast food shop and race on. In the home, fewer children are encouraged to bow to their elders and kiss their hand as a symbol of respect. I recall as a child in my home, my brother, sister and I had to kiss my father’s and mother’s hand in respect and gratitude every Sunday before dinner for all the good things we received.

Our older children go to the United States to study, but few return to live and work. Gradually we have lost our educated work force to outside non-resident workers. Sadly, the person who doesn’t return also loses his family, friends and ethnic identity. All this is subtle and gradual. After a period of time, the results become obvious. All of this happens because we did not “pay attention.”

Look at how we desecrate our island by littering it. Stroll along a beach and see how little attention we are paying to the ocean that rolls up on the beach. Drive by the dilapidated buildings reminding us of our inattention. Slowly we are surrounding ourselves with an environment that cries out “Attention! Attention must be paid!”

As we struggle to regain an economic foothold which will support the lifestyle we have chosen, it is time to “pay attention” to what we are doing. In our pursuit for economic growth, we are not sufficiently paying attention to the enormous social and environmental price this growth is costing. We must pay attention to the whole picture.

Our current problems did not happen overnight. They are the result of not “paying attention” when the first signs appeared. Recall how often we become seriously sick. Almost all of our illnesses are the end product of accumulations of numerous “not paying attentions.”

Consider the fact that the government is pleading with the United States to postpone the federalization act to be initiated in June 2009. What is the reason? Do we need more time to “pay attention” to details or are we just pleading with no direction hoping it will go away?

“Attention” deals with the cultivation of human possibilities and purposes. Distraction, its opposite, is a response to fear and exhaustion, leading to escapism. In the long run our economic life depends on the quality of us, the people. What hope is there if we do not “pay attention” to what we are doing to our children and to our society? “Attention! Attention must be paid!” Willy did not understand this. Do we?

A friend sent me the following quotation. After reading it, let us ask ourselves: What have we learned in 2,063 years? Have we been paying attention?

“The budget should be balanced, the Treasury should be refilled, public debt should be reduced, the arrogance of officialdom should be tempered and controlled, and the assistance to foreign lands should be curtailed lest Rome become bankrupt. People must again learn to work, instead of living on public assistance.”
—Cicero, the great Roman writer, orator and statesman—55 B.C.

So, evidently nothing. When do we start paying “Attention?”
Have a great day.