Things seen disappear
to the evil things you did
You violate agreements, lock them up
then close the lid
You walk around so weighted
standing up takes all your might
Distorted truths, deeds justified
just so you can be right
You couldn’t risk admission
so withholding’s how you cope
You’d die if they found out
and so you slide the slippery slope
Your burden takes its toll
and mind and heart begin to stray
You soon withdraw from life
just blow things off or run away
Your anger, accusations,
paranoia and false pride
Reveal you see in others
what you feel most times inside
But truth provides the freedom
from the mire that you made
Confront the truths of past offence
accept where you have strayed
For once it’s seen for what it is
it ceases to exist
For only lies can linger
with the power to persist
You’ll gain respect and rebuild trust
and live life fully here
Yes, all it takes are open eyes…..
for things seen disappear[/I]
According to experts, the biggest reason a person restrains and withholds himself from action is because he or she has committed an “overt.” An overt is simply a harmful act or a transgression against a moral code of a society or agreements of a group. In other words, taking money from your mom’s purse when you were a child, accidentally scratching someone’s car in a parking lot and not leaving them a note, betraying a trust or expectation in a relationship, or partnership, speaking ill of someone behind their backs, or stealing paper or paper clips from the office supply closet are all overts.
Typically, once someone commits an overt, the next thing he or she does is “withhold” the transgression (i.e. doesn’t confess or talk about it) for fear of penalty or punishment. In order to live with themselves, they then must justify the action in their minds in an effort to lesson the overt. You’ve surely heard people say, “well, he/she drove me to or made me do it,” or “this’ll make up for them not paying me what I’m worth,” or some other elaborate reasoning to justify the original act.
The sad truth, is that these justifications don’t really work, and eventually, the strain of continuing as part of a relationship, partnership, group or society which you’ve betrayed, leads you to sabotaging, ending, leaving relationships, jobs or otherwise just withdrawing into inactivity. This explains why many partnerships and marriages end, why many people jump from job to job, and why many new year’s resolutions and promises are broken and fail: essentially people break a trust, and then can’t live with themselves, so they run away.
But there is a way to move beyond being stuck in the web of a lingering past offence: Write it down, admit the truth, accept your role and responsibility and let it leave. Whatever your transgression, take the time to do this simple yet powerful exercise:
1. Write down the exact overt of commission or omission. 2. Then state explicitly the specifics regarding the action or inaction including the (a)time, (b)place, (c) the form (how things were arranged) and (d) the event itself.
Example:
“1. I hit a friend’s car when backing out of my parking space at work and caused about five hundred dollars worth of damage to his car.
2. On the 30th of June 2007, when I was leaving work, I was backing out of my parking space and hit the back end of my friend Joe’s car. There was no one else around and the parking lot as almost empty. I drove away without leaving a note or telling Joe, knowing that I caused about five hundred dollars damage to his car which he had to pay for.”
3. Hand it to someone you trust who will simply read it, acknowledge that you did it but without comment, judgment or opinion about the content.
Though helpful, it’s not even necessary to confront the wronged person or group. Give it a try. You’ll be surprised at how freeing this simple act can be and how much more productive, prosperous you can be in the moments, days and months that follow! Now, would be a perfect time to start!
Adapted from “Integrity and Honesty” based on the works of L.Ron Hubbard.
Here’s a quote I like:
Do you know what happens when folks distrust the trustworthy?
They begin attracting the untrustworthy.
Ain’t pretty. (from tut.com)
* * * *
Until next week, remember, success is a journey, not a destination!
[I]Walt F.J. Goodridge is author of 12 books including Turn Your Passion Into Profit. Walt offers coaching and workshops to help people pursue and profit from their passions. Originally from the island of Jamaica, Walt has grown several successful businesses in the US, and now makes his home here in Saipan. To learn more about the Saipanpreneur Project and Walt’s philosophy and formula visit www.saipanpreneur.com and www.passionprofit.com.Send article suggestions, entrepreneur nominations and feedback about this article to walt@passionprofit.com.[/I]