‘Arrested’ development: Our friend Ray

Author’s Note: This is a shared piece between co-workers including myself, Jimmy “Big Tuna” Sablan, program manager; Thomas Thornburgh, projects specialist; and Greg P. Borja, projects specialist.

We were forewarned (by some concerned) not to write about this topic or to associate with this issue and this person in light of the allegations against him and the ever unpopular matter of “ice” in our community. It should come as no surprise, though, that we choose to walk into the fire rather than away from it as someone we care about is being engulfed.

It is with a heavy heart that we’ve been following the media takes and anonymous blogging on the recent arrest of our friend, Ray Palacios. While shocking to see in the headlines, it would be disingenuous (at best) for us to claim that we didn’t at least suspect our friend of struggling with something along the lines of an addiction. We doubt very much that his colleagues and others who know him didn’t have the same suspicions, though we hedged our bets on him playing those damn poker machines a little too much-what with the random calls or stop-bys to borrow 20 dollars here and there. “What kind of a congressman are you?” we’d often joke. “Don’t they pay you enough at the Legislature?” The fact is that he was consistently broke, so I’m not surprised that he can’t afford a lawyer. We always figured that he blew much of what he got on poker, but in addition we also knew that he could never say no to anyone who asked him for anything. He is quite literally the kind of guy who would give the shirt off his back to someone in need. I suspect his voting constituents know better than I what I’m talking about.

So, if in fact, the allegations of his involvement with and use of crystal methamphetamine (i.e., “ice”) are true, then this unequivocally is yet another sad cliché of a good man falling due to the trappings and allures of the ugly disease that is drug-addiction. To be clear, this is not an excuse or some woe-is-me attempt to win him sympathy points. We all know the ugly truth about crystal meth in our communities, so the consequences for any perpetuation of it need to be harsh. As a citizen, our friend must get his day in court (regardless of public opinion) and, as a man, he and he alone will need to face the consequences of his choices-may he receive a fair and just trial.

If ever there was a prevailing message that we have to convey in our capacity as advocates with the Northern Marianas Protection & Advocacy Systems, Inc. or NMPASI, it’s that we are individually accountable for our selves and for our own actions, whether or not we have a disability. All we can do is clear a path through unwanted discrimination and other such barriers or point the way toward appropriate services, but we can’t make anyone follow. As for addictions (whether it be for gambling, narcotics and/or alcohol), most recovering addicts are often happy to share and commune with others in the same struggle both in order to help, but also to keep themselves reminded of the pitfalls inherent in the choice to use or play. And, most have fallen in the most heart-wrenching, dramatic fashions before they chose a different path.very few walk away unscathed. Fortunately, help is available locally through the efforts of some good people at the Division of Mental Health/Community Guidance Center, but going there is still a choice. For some, you may as well be pulling their teeth to have them make that choice, so they remain stuck in a brutal conflict with themselves-in a state of arrested development, if you will.

Someone told me once that “if you’re trying to learn about the plague, you first have to go to where the plague is most prevalent.” In terms of addictions, if you want to learn more about them, you need to go where the addicts convene (preferably with the ones recovering say at A.A. or N.A. or G.A., the gateways out of the vicious, downward-spiraling cycle). For addicts, the enemy is always at the gate and the best defense is a good offense-keep your friends close but keep your enemies closer. Simply pretending that the enemy doesn’t exist keeps you vulnerable.

Everything that addicts need to know is readily available with multiple support systems and various people eagerly waiting to pick them up no matter how far they’ve fallen. No doubt, we all make mistakes. The only question is, can or will we learn from them?

For more on available services and/or protections for individuals with disabilities and/or addictions, please feel free to call the NMPASI Office at (670) 235-7273/4 [voice] / 235-7275 [fax] / 235-7278 [tty] or contact us on-line at www.nmpasi.org.

Note: The above was written in conjunction with NMPASI’s Annual Statement of Goals and Priorities at a cost to its federal grant programs of approximately $125. (Jim Rayphand)

Jim Rayphand is the executive director of the Northern Marianas Protection & Advocacy Systems, Inc.