What’s wrong with Peyton and the Colts?

What the heck is wrong with the Indianapolis Colts? That’s what’s on the minds of coaches, players, fans, and the groundskeepers around the National Football League these days as Peyton Manning and the blue shoes have dropped three of their last four games after opening the season at 9-0.

At 10-3, Indy is still sitting atop the AFC South with a comfortable two-game lead over Jacksonville, but the Jaguars just hammered the Colts into their horseshoes with a 44-17 Florida-style beat down.

The Colts couldn’t tackle anybody on Sunday as the Jags put up a ridiculous 375 yards on the ground. Maurice Jones-Drew piled up 166 yards and Fred “I’m not old yet” Taylor added 135 yards for good measure, but Jacksonville could have suited up one of the manamko and had the same production.

They say championships are won with defense, so I guess that mean they say the Colts aren’t going to go very far again this year. It’s okay Peyton, you still are headed to the Hall of Fame, but your bust will be in the Almost There wing between Dan Marino and Jim Kelly.

While Manning doesn’t need to win the Big One to get into the Hall, his dad will be sure to tell him that it’s not the same ending a career without that ring. Funny thing is that Peyton is the best chance to save the family name with a Super Bowl win as his little brother is still a little out of sorts.

In Eli’s defense the Giants were able to pounce on the Panthers last week, 27-13, but Chris Weinke is no Jake Delhomme, and Jake Delhomme hasn’t even been Jake Delhomme this year.

Okay, stats are one thing, but Weinke didn’t get Carolina the “W” despite completing 34-of-61 for 423 yards—that’s what happens when your running game manages just 45 yards on 15 attempts. Yeah baby, three yards of gridiron goodness on every carry.

The Mannings may have issues these days but Tom Brady and the Patriots have their fair share of “What the H-E-double hockey sticks” circulating throughout the locker room as well.

Just like the Colts, New England is atop the standings in the AFC East with a two-game advantage over their rivals. And just like the Colts, the Pats just got their behinds handed to them by a divisional foe as the Dolphins fish-slapped the Brady Bunch, 21-0, in Miami.

None of our local prognosticators predicted the Floridian Fury, and now rumors of mystery play call tapes have surfaced indicating the Dolphins in an interesting pre-game planning ploy that included the purchase of a collection of Brady’s tendencies and on-field play calls.

Brady says it’s a joke, mainland analysts are split on the morality of the issue, and others are intrigued with the possibility of buying the same tape. Call it “Tape Gate” if you like, but it’s not cheating—technically.

It’s also not cheating when LaDainian Tomlinson carries the ball but it doesn’t seem fair that he scores at will. The guy just broke the all-time single season touchdown record last week when he broke the plane for his 29th score, but the ridiculous part about it is that there are still three games left!