Embracing Socialism

I’m no economic evangelist, and the last thing I’d try to do is convince the world, Saipan included, that it should want freedom or free markets.

This sprang to mind when a pal of mine was railing against Article 12, the Commonwealth’s non-alienation of land gig. He asked why I don’t crusade against it.

Well, in the first place, I don’t crusade against anything, but that ain’t the point.

And I don’t crusade for anything for that matter, but that ain’t the point either.

“Dude,” said I to my friend, finally getting to the point, “if it were not for Article 12, you couldn’t rent a nice house for $900 a month. Prices would be bid up as land demand increased, and, as an echo, a mortgage and credit market would light a fire under prices. Even as an owner, on a cash flow basis, owning under a free market would be far more expensive than renting under the status quo.”

In other words, Article 12 has made land artificially cheap, because it forces the value of land way down. How cool is that? If the Commonwealth wants to ruin its own asset base, why not let it?

That’s one little picture, but let’s consider a bigger one: There are over 6 billion people in the world now. On the margin, the net value of their brute labor is, essentially, nil, in this age of (a) automation and (b) high-tech intellectual capital.

So the lack of raw labor is not a constraint on the global economy, at least for advanced nations. Consider that the raw labor has to be housed, policed, doctored, schooled, transported, administrated, and otherwise supported, so the net value may actually be negative in some cases.

On the other hand, the scarcity of raw resources is a constraint in advanced economies. Anyone who worries about the price of oil can get an ulcer pondering that.

After all, mother earth can only produce so much bounty.

So if the world’s people shed their primal craving for socialism, and instead built free markets, the world would industrialize, and the price of oil, and gold, and iron, and fish, and beef, and timber would get bid up through the roof. Instead of riding on donkeys, people would be shopping at the Ford dealer for Crown Victorias.

I’m saving for a “Crown Vic” now, and I don’t want anyone but me shopping at the Ford dealer and bidding up the price. Go away. Here, let me help you with a chant, and please teach it to your buddies: Viva Socialism! Power to the People! Viva Price Controls! Viva Universal Health Care! Viva Castro! Viva Stalin! Crown Victorias are for Capitalist Pigs! Donkeys are Environmentally Friendly! Bota Bota Bota for Patronage!

Indeed, the poorer the socialists keep the world, the more resources there are for me and my pals. That’s more steak on the table, more gasoline in the cars, and more fuel in the airplane. In a resource-constrained paradigm, socialism is a windfall for those of us who don’t have to live under it.

So I have no argument with the socialists. They have kept the teeming mass of humanity away from my favorite restaurants and out of my dentist’s waiting room. Likewise, the teeming masses will always chose socialism if given a choice, so I think we’ve got a good thing going here.

And, likewise again, since the Commonwealth has ruined every basis of its economy, the rents are ridiculously cheap, tacos are affordable, the streets are empty, and the beaches are deserted, so what is there to complain about? Peace and quiet was never so cheap. And it’s going to get a lot quieter, so maybe, just maybe, I’ll open a donkey dealership.

* * * *

“Do you want to feel good, or do you want to do good?”
—Ted Nugent

* * *