Parasites and zoom zoom

Talk about a Thanksgiving blessing: The “Better Times” administration has received the voters’ nod, so we’re going to have a competent administration on Capitol Hill, and I’m thrilled about it. But as economics finally gets the limelight it deserves in the Commonwealth, we should consider our curses as well as our blessings. After all, you can’t cure a disease if you don’t know what caused it in the first place.

And on this note, the CNMI is wheezing on its economic death bed due largely to a deadly parasite. It is a true curse. I refer to a tax-sucking leech of a species called: Econocrat.

Now, I’ve seen econocrats the world over, but only the CNMI hosts such a virulent strain that these parasites don’t even hold college degrees in the topic they claim training in. That’s mighty brazen, but professional hustlers have never been accused of being timid, not when they can jive-talk their ways into those sweet and juicy government checks.

I wouldn’t go to a “home schooled doctor,” would you? No. So it is interesting that the Commonwealth entrusted its economic health to “home schooled” econocrats.

The first time I saw econocrat gibberish, a long time ago, I thought, “how cute, some high school students borrowed a thesaurus and are trying to write studies on economics.” I was pretty much shocked to learn the truth, that a mutant strain of professional bureaucrat, that can only exist around government money, had convinced an unsuspecting venue that “economics” was just a home-made, shoot from the hip concoction of big words, feel-good flattery, and pie-in-the-sky ideas, the latter of which always involve dreams of “government/private sector” partnerships, “investor incentives,” and “economic plans.”

You can’t base an economy on that garbage. Look where it got you. Yes, any good government must understand economics and promote a suitable environment for economic growth, but not even a crack addict would believe the schemes dreamed up by Saipan’s econocrats.

If the Commonwealth wants a growing economy, there is plenty for the government to do, but it should do the right things competently, instead of the wrong things incompetently.

Sensible, eh? So: First step: Acknowledge the damage that econocrats have caused you, and don’t repeat that mistake. There’s not much room for error at this point, the economy is still going down hill.

After all, in the Commonwealth, the U.S., or anywhere else in the world, there are all sorts of hustlers who, like bacteria, have mutated and evolved to suck government funds from taxpayers. They have a feeding frenzy whenever things change on Capitol Hill, but hopefully this time around somebody will have the gumption to call U.S. universities and VERIFY the economic credentials of those calling themselves “economists.” Come on, that’s not so hard to do.

Parasites cause a lot more damage than the mere blood they suck. They cause disease, and the Commonwealth has come down with one deadly case of economic mismanagement. You can’t cure it by using more of what caused it.

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Other notes: I’ve always kept a hand in aviation, not wanting to squander my military training, and getting my hands dirty on the flight line has always given me real world insights that I’d miss if I spent all my time in an office. Air service is a make-or-break issue for the Commonwealth, and the rumors I’m hearing aren’t good. Anyone considering an investment in the CNMI should think this factor over very, very carefully; promises and plans often lie, but trends don’t.

It’s going to take a huge effort, and a little luck, to turn this trend around. Doable? I think so, but nothing is guaranteed. We need more Zoom-Zoom, but airlines will have to be convinced that the CNMI’s bungling incompetence of recent years is not to be repeated. We have, in other words, a “reputation,” and that’s not always a happy thing.

(Ed Stephens Jr. is an economist and columnist for the Saipan Tribune. E-mail him at Ed@SaipanEconomist.com.)