Finding hilarity in the Op-Ed pages

I have been a reader of the Saipan Tribune for the better part of four years now, and I have been particularly amused by the petty bickering of the troglodytes who write about their opinions, and the ways in which they are superior to that of their fellow island neighbors. To hear a reader reply to the calls of another reeks to me of child’s play and poor taste—”I’m not as bad as they say, but let me discredit them while I have the floor.” Be that as it may, I get a laugh at noon from the battle of the boobs who would blather their way to the Governor’s Mansion if afforded the opportunity.

I particularly enjoy the pompous writings of Mr. Bennett. Though his arguments beg the reader to believe that his only thought and dream is for the people, they fail to drape a cloth of mystery over his ambitions of attaining respect through the press. A warm thanks to you, sir.

And what battles now loom for the defenders of Pagan? Having run off a potential investor who could have brought prosperity to the few squatters who inhabit the pozzolan-coated rock to the north, how do they plan to help them taotao tano? There has been a lack of a decent plan “since ever since” yet they dug a trench in the sand and dared the haoles to cross it.

When it comes to the recognition of certain holidays deemed worthy by the U.S. federal government, I sit and scratch my head in amazed wonder. Not being an American myself, I marvel at how much the U.S. culture has intermingled with that of the local indigene, and the way in which some customs are embraced while others are discarded. In particular, it is easy to sit back and watch the Chamorro people of the CNMI discriminate against all of those born on foreign shores, but do they realize their folly when they abstain from observing the American holiday that recognizes the sacrifices of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.? Were it not for him, the mainlanders would have simply disregarded the local culture altogether and installed laws that would have stripped them of their lands in much the same fashion as what was done to the Native Americans.

There is plenty left for me to say, and though I am a fool the same as any, I pose a challenge of making the changes instead of the charges. Lay down your arms, and embrace with unity your destiny as a people with a combined fate—one that is hinged on cooperation and trust.

Pamoulio Ramaoujon
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