Lost femininity

Are young girls any better off with only one parent in the house? Do they suffer the same problems that boys do when one parent is absent? From where do they get the understanding of manly qualities that a young girl should be receiving from a loving father? Is a father image necessary for girls to better understand men or is the perception of men received from mom sufficient? Why are so many women trying to become like men and less like women? What has happened to the charm of being feminine?

Reading from any criminal statistics, we notice that a large population of the juvenile delinquents are young girls. Girls engage in drugs almost as readily as boys. At an alarmingly increasing rate young girls become mothers in their early teens. Where are the motherhood and the femininity traits that should be part of a girl’s training as she matures into a woman?

To cite one example: What happens in the minds and hearts of the young when they hear and see violence done to the opposite gender. In the media and in public life, many women use foul language as though in competition with men. Initially men recoil from this frankness of language, but then react negatively towards the woman seeing that she has degraded herself by her vulgarity of tongue. This often results in violence against each other. A no holds barred fight ensues. What happened to the qualities of womanhood and femininity?

Young girls also need the guidance of a father and a mother so that the qualities in each gender may be instilled in them. When a young girl or a young man consent to body piercing and tattoos, they desire to experience moral and erotic constraint. Having failed to find an authority they can respect and needed guidance from youthful impetuosity, they confuse authority with oppression.

The problem becomes more complex when we learn that over 1 million children are involved in divorces each year. In 1970, 12% of children under 18 were living with only one parent. But in 1996, 28% of children under 18 were living with only one parent. These unfortunate children see only one side of the coin, either from the male or female side. As a result the understanding is lopsided. This can result in over expectations or misunderstandings from the male or female.

The male boy without a father becomes at an early age the protector of his mother while resenting the absence of his father. Or he will resist the guiding efforts of the mother and strike off to find his manhood in the streets among peers in a similar situation. The female girl likewise becomes wary of all men because she has seen what a man did to her mother. She, too, may resist the guiding efforts of the mother and seek love and comfort in the streets among peers in a similar situation.

Though difficult, we must convince our young men and women to treat each other with respect and understanding of the virtues and intellectual capabilities each possesses. Each must feel the emotional satisfaction that the other gender gives. Both must understand that only through traditional virtues of character can a man and woman live in harmony. The woman must retain her femininity if she is to attain equality with men. To cast off her femininity is to lose her power with men.

Man must recapture his sense of honor and pride, and woman must recapture her sense of femininity. A wholesome life is a balanced one. Man is fulfilled only through woman, and woman is fulfilled only through man. Is their another way?