Old Billy Goats and the new marvel

Since the advent of Viagra, good old guys in their late sixties and early seventies have been misbehaving, embarrassingly. Out the door goes the filial golden jubilee of a good happy married life. The old man, basking in the sea of Viagra, has scrapped his faithful spouse in favor of a young and firm woman 60 years his junior. This is the bad effect of viagra reaching the commercial level and available over the counter.

Yes, some of our very own super seniors have taken trips to nearby countries to reassert their manhood. And they all come back smiling ear to ear declaring “I have enjoined (enjoyed) myself, lai”. They work some more, save every penny, and returned for another thrill trip to their favorite destination. They no longer relish hearing “Good morning grandpa”, but “Hi grand playboy”.

Although there’s the continuing craze for that elusive fountain of youth, I have accepted the irreversible biological deterioration that descends on everybody as we head into our senior and twilight years, the wrinkling, loss of hair and vitality that are the purview of younger guys today. In other words, I have accepted my senior citizenship and all the appropriate behavior that comes with that grand trophy. I’ve earned it, anyway!

It’s an interesting pharmaceutical product that has become the relished fountain of youth for those who opt for mischief behavior. But a good portion of the old guys have accepted not to tinker with it taking aging in good stride.

A recent essay in Time Magazine (Old Goats and their Libidos) related how Winston Churchill dealt with it. One day while addressing parliament, another member whispered to him that his fly (zipper) was open; the story goes that Churchill answered pleasantly: “Oh, that’s all right. The bird doesn’t fly out of the nest anymore”. The age-appropriate codger is one of the glories of civilization.

Being a believer in the proverbial “two sides to a coin”, I wonder how the guys would fare if another pharmaceutical marvel comes out allowing women to secure orgasm (without coitus) when they want to. Hey, we’d all be marching to donate our precious hoodie-doo for anybody along the beach who needs it for barbecue, yeah?
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I recall a friend who insisted that we purchase Viagra because he wants to try it. We did. The next day I met him at a barbecue and quizzed him about it. Said he: “No good, lai. Only one hour!” I was like, “Gee, what else do you do with the woman after ten minutes?” Skin her to death? Geesuzzz!
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Too, out of curiosity I asked an old lady whether at 70 she and her husband are still into their conjugal responsibility. Said she: “Ai, lahiho, like telephone, sometime ring, no answer, sometime ring, answer”. Otherwise, she related, “it’s all about getting up at 3 a.m. to make coffee, breakfast and talk stories”. I was a bit troubled, but at age 50, it won’t be long before I start waking up my wife to make coffee so we can talk stories, too!
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What’s interesting though among elderly women right here in paradise is the penchant to watch every episode of such soap operas as “The Young and the Restless”, “As the World Turns”, “All my Children”, among others. This gradual descend into senility is nowhere in sight. The good old gals can explain, in minute detail, who fooled and screwed who. I was stunned and ready to call up Adult Education at NMC to organize basic computer program for these senior gals. They’d be better off being computer rather than mischief-literate. Geessussss!