Enough! Domestic Violence R.I.P.

By Anita Hofschneider

When Leonora S. Miranda’s boyfriend flew into a rage during the summer of 2003, a simple lovers’ quarrel became one of the worst domestic violence cases in CNMI history. Larry Aguilar Banal, Miranda’s boyfriend, was armed with an air gun and a machete. Miranda was brutally assaulted and shot. She died as a result. This tragic incident was added to a list of eight hundred, the total supposed number of domestic violence cases in the CNMI annually.

Over the past few years, more and more cases of domestic violence in the CNMI have been reposted. The woman who lost her vision in one eye when her husband punched her…the wife whose husband hit her one evening, when he arrived home drunk…the young boy who jumped on his father to stop him from beating the boy’s mother…These are heartbreaking examples of domestic violence that have occurred within the CNMI in the last three years. There are countless more cases that are not reported: cases of emotional and verbal abuse. These are kept hidden, their existence denied. Yet all forms of domestic violence are present in the CNMI: physical, verbal, sexual and psychological. Domestic violence is a deadly disease that has permeated our society. It harms the children of the CNMI. It creates a culture of violence that perpetuates over generations. It rips apart families. Domestic violence is a sick reality in the CNMI, and it MUST be stopped.

Domestic violence harms children. Exposure to an atmosphere of domestic violence has ruinous psychological impact on youth. Children who grow up in homes plagued by domestic violence become depressed and angry. What they see at home affects their behavior at school. Oftentimes, it negatively affects their social growth and academic progress. The CNMI already has a huge problem with verbal abuse. Parents consider it a right to discipline their children by blaming and shaming them. They wrongly believe that as long as they are not touching their children, their behavior is not abusive. What our society had difficulty recognizing is that children who are incessantly shamed and blamed by their parents are being raised in an unhealthy environment. The victimized children suffer from low self-esteem. Even worse, children who are verbally abused face greater risk for physical abuse. Physical abuse has almost the same effect on children as verbal abuse. Kids who are neglected or physically hurt grow up feeling worthless and unloved. Physical abuse, however, is more serious because the lives of children are in greater danger. Sexual abuse and psychological abuse are also incredibly damaging to children. Domestic violence must be stopped because it harms kids.

Children who are subjected to violence in their homes do not only become angry—more dangerously, they grow indifferent. At a young age, a child learns from his or her surrounding environment. Children who see their parents physically or verbally abuse one another repeatedly become abusers themselves. They see this violence, and learn from it. They think that this behavior is normal. This is how a culture of violence is created, and how domestic violence is perpetuated throughout generations. If they are not immediately treated, victims of domestic violence can carry the scars of their suffering forever. Victims are usually reluctant or feel helpless to ask for help. Much like the cycle of poverty, the cycle of domestic violence is almost impossible to break. If the CNMI does not greatly increase its efforts to stop domestic violence, it can become a pattern cemented in society.

Domestic violence ultimately destroys the home. The CNMI is special, because our concept of family here is different from most other places. The people of the Mariana islands make up large, extended families that stretch from island to island. Nearly any local person in the CNMI is certain to have at least six aunts and uncles an at least twenty cousins. Our culture holds family very dear and encourages respect to elders. Yet if our islands continue to quarter the domestic violence disease, our families will be ripped apart. The divorce rate will grow, and parents and children will become estranged. It will be mother versus father, child versus uncle, sister against brother. Domestic violence MUST be stopped because it ruins the family structure.

Domestic violence occurs once every nine seconds in the U.S. The people of the CNMI cannot deny it: we contribute to this statistic. Domestic violence is a serious problem in our islands. Verbally, physically, sexually, and psychologically, our children are being abused. Something MUST be done. Over the past few centuries, the way of the life of Chamorro and Carolinian people has changed drastically. Today, our culture continues to evolve. Tragically, our islands have been infected with the virus of domestic violence. For many, violence is the home is now a way of life. This MUST stop. Let us, the new generation, realize that we have the power to eradicate violence from our culture. The time has come to take action. ENOUGH! Domestic Violence R.I.P.

(This is the winning piece in the 2004 Domestic Violence Awareness Month Essay Contest. The writer is a 9th Grade, Marianas Baptist Academy student.)

ERRATUM: A Saipan Tribune report on the number that participated in Friday night’s candlelight vigil against domestic violence should have read 1,000 and not 100. Our apologies.