To Frightened on Saipan

I cried while I was reading your letter to the editor. The scenes you depicted were all too familiar to me. Like you, I was a victim of abuse by someone who promised to love and care for me. I’ve been through everything you mentioned plus more. I tried asking for help…a brilliant police officer told me, “What did you do to him nai?” I found out later on that my boyfriend was related to him. This discouraged me from seeking help any further. I also didn’t want to hear “I told you so” from my family members. I lost my self-esteem. I lost most of my friends. People were afraid to talk to me because of him. He would beat me even in public. I would pass out from his beating. Some guys tried to help me. This just made things worse. When they’re gone, my boyfriend would beat me up even more. He threatened to harm my family and has made me lose my job twice.

I tried to end it by committing suicide. Thank God I did not succeed. Because after three years of enduring pain and suffering, I had enough. I finally had the courage to break it off. I just wish I did it sooner. I moved back with my parents and kept myself busy. This was really difficult. He followed me wherever I went and threatened to kill me. I was fortunate because a couple of my friends did not leave me alone for one minute. Nevertheless, he still managed to kidnap me. I was able to run away when he finally fell asleep. An off-duty cop saw me running by the road and decided to call for assistance. I told them my story. They wanted to help me yet I decided not to press charges. So instead, they spoke with him and told him to stay away from me. He did for a while. He called many times to try to get back and apologize. There were times I had a strong urge to return his calls just to hear his voice. I prayed for strength during those times.

I hurt for what seemed like forever. But it passed. Your pain and suffering will also pass if you give yourself the courage to move on with your life. And in times when you just feel like giving up, do not underestimate the power of prayers. A ray of light will penetrate through your dark times. Always remember that you do not need any guy to feel loved. Your mother loves you and she always will. You also need to love yourself. Surround yourself with friends. I admire you for speaking up about date violence and encouraging others to do so.

To all others who are going through the same thing, please do not be afraid to ask for help. And hopefully through this I was able to assist you in a certain way.

No longer afraid on Rota