Labor economics: behind the issues

Financial circles are all abuzz about the specter of normalized trade relations with China. Specially, the U.S. senate has passed a “Permanent Normal Trade Relations” (PNTR) bill. It sailed through by quite a margin: 83 -15.

All sorts of gibberish will be written about this issue, and industrial, consumer, business, and labor concerns will boil to the fore. So I’ve been asked to take a look at this topic, which I was prepared to do…until an email rolled in that commanded my immediate attention. And, since labor is a critical issue for China’s status and ours, I must offer you this case study.

Exhibit A: Monsieur Joseph Pujol.

Profession: Farter.

Yes, farter. It seems that Monsieur Pujol discovered, while serving in the French Army, that he could belt tunes out of his derriere.

Good thing he was in the Army. What with the cramped and dank spaces of ships, a naval career was totally out of the question.

But then again so was the Army, and, given that the French army is more comfortable advancing to the rear than in any other direction, Pujol’s aft flank must have felt mighty exposed.

A man with a musical butt should be destined for stardom; after all, this was France, where the cheese smells like dead rats and Jerry Lewis passes for high comedy.

Monsieur Pujol tooted his talents on the night club circuit. Like many talented performers, he wound up in a legal scuffle over rights with a shifty-eyed nightclub owner.

He then discovered a competitive act–a woman who was, it turns out, fraudulently flatulent, having used bellows under her dress to rip her riffs.

Pujol finally took the entrepreneurial route and opened his own place. Did they use the term “Grand Opening?” One suspects so. Anyway, a lot of customers breezed in and the place, from all accounts, harbored the sweet smell of success.

Government policy, though, stank things up. WWI was bearing down on Europe. The French outlawed Absinthe, which is a strong drink that powered the night time party circuit. Times for the fartist got tough and he retired.

And that’s the story. It’s got all the elements of a good economic study: competition, adverse government policy, rights disputes, entrepreneurship.

I fully expect the CNMI to now christen a Department of Farting, so we can “generate a tremendous opportunity in this tremendous industry.” After all, if the government doesn’t show and tell us how to do things, how can we ever do them? We’ve got departments for every thing else, so why not have a Director of Flatulence? Gee, would that be under the Commonwealth Health Center–it is, after all, a bodily function–or perhaps under the Department of Commerce– there is, after all, proven commercial opportunity in it.

I smell a turf war on this one. We can litigate this one for a solid two or three years.

In the meantime, another question lingers in the air. Can we do the farting ourselves…or will we import labor to do that, too?