HIV-infected person comes out in the open

He thought it was a relationship based on trust. But 39-year old Moses Saburo was wrong.

After four years of living with his partner in the U.S. mainland, Mr. Saburo found out in 1996 that he has been infected with HIV, the virus that causes the development of AIDS (Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome).

“I had a trusting relationship with someone that I thought I knew very well and that she was clean and free from HIV. The only time I found out that she was infected was when she died of AIDS,” he said.

Mr. Saburo, a community volunteer, is the first person on the island to courageously admit that he is HIV positive, finally giving a human face on the HIV/AIDS problem in the CNMI.

“No one really understands exactly how I am feeling. I don’t know if I will get up the next day. I’m afraid because I know that I am dying and I will not be able to see my loved ones again,” he said.

With an estimated 300 HIV cases in the Northern Marianas, Mr. Saburo expressed concern on the increasing number of people afflicted with the dreaded disease. AIDS is an incurable disease characterized by the weakening of the immune system.

Since the first HIV case on the island was discovered in 1983, the Department of Public Health has found it hard to look for someone afflicted with the virus to come out openly and help in the information campaign.

By sharing his story, Mr. Saburo said he hopes to help increase the people’s awareness and understand the disease. “I learned from this experience that you can never tell when someone has HIV because they can look and feel better even when they are infected with the virus and by fully trusting someone does not give you immunity from this disease,” he said.

When he learned that he was HIV positive, Mr. Saburo said he was very angry and found it difficult to accept at first that it happened to him. “The shame that I feel everyday and the shame that I put on my loving family most of the time is unbearable. I am afraid of being rejected, not being loved by my family and friends,” he added.

Mr. Saburo is urging those who are HIV positive to end their silence and help in the campaign to prevent the spread of this disease. In entering into any relationship, he has one advice: Be honest. Tell anyone the person you are going to have relationship with that you are HIV positive.

To the young people, Mr. Saburo would like to remind them to be always cautious by avoiding unprotected sex. “Don’t shatter your dream with one minute of pleasure. I encourage you to really think about your actions and take responsibility in protecting yourself,” he added.

Coming out openly was not that easy, but the love and support of his family has given him so much courage to do so. “I would like to encourage other families to give love, compassion and support to your children or family members who are struggling with this disease. They need your love and acceptance more than ever,” said Mr.
Saburo, who works as a volunteer at the DPH AIDS program.