Untangling the roles of mothers and motherhood today

Evelyn Armia, a mother of three and the regional director for Micronesia of Jesus is Lord Church in Guam, says motherhood is still considered a noble state these days, but it also has its share of misconceptions, including the thinking that motherhood is simple. “Motherhood it is not easy. It is not simple. Every child is unique, there is no raising a good child template that fits all.”

In order to meet the demands of motherhood, Armia recommends that mothers be open to seeking help and familial support when the need arises. “While there is inexpressible joy in being a mother, it can be also be incredibly challenging, both physically and emotionally. Mothers need to be continuous learners and take the essential support from immediate family, friends, church, and the community.”

Another misconception, Armia says, is the extent of a mother’s influence on the lives of their children. While this may be true, in the end the presence of both parents still hold much more influence in their children’s lives, Armia says.

“Both parents have great influence in the lives of the children. Children respond positively to the unconditional love of their mother, but based on many observations, children unconsciously tend to imitate their father more. Fathers need to be more involved in raising the kids and need to set good example for their children to emulate.”

Each of Armia’s three children have carved a career in the U.S. armed forces. Her eldest son, Kedesh, 32, is based in Hawaii with his wife, Marjorie, and serves in the U.S. Army, while her daughter, Keziah, 24, is currently based in Texas with her husband, Kellen, who is retired from the U.S. Navy. Her third son, Kenneth, 22, lives in Georgia and serves in the U.S. Air Force.

Armia’s faith played an important part in helping her deal with the demands of motherhood. “My faith helped me to act with love and to trust God during times of uncertainty. It has allowed me to have a loving relationship with my late husband and with my children.”

Consistently following a balanced schedule also helps, Armia said. “It was a great tool in fulfilling my role as wife, a mother, a career woman, and a church leader. Managing my time with a balanced schedule was not restrictive, but it enabled me to do more, especially for my family.”

Armia also advises mothers to take time for self-care. “I’m so grateful that my late husband was so considerate and allowed me to have time for simple physical exercises like walking. He also accompanied me to the gym. Having massages at least once a month, and time to have friendly dates with my female friends also contributed to my wellbeing.”

Mothers should value their wellbeing, Armia said. “We cannot give what we do not have. In the same manner, if a mother’s holistic health is not optimal, she will not be able to give her best to her children.”

Still, motherhood has not strayed that far from its previous state as a valued member of society. “Mothers are recognized for their love, sacrifice and selflessness in raising well-rounded children. They have a great impact in the lives of their children. Not only are they the first instruments of God’s love, but mothers are also the first mentors, Whatever the children learn from home, they will bring it to their community. If they learn love and respect at home, they will reflect love and respect,” Armia said.

This is reflected in a recent poll conducted by the Pew Research Center, which found that 83% of U.S. mom say that being a parent is one of the most important aspects of their personal identity, with the same percentage also finding that parenting is described as both an enjoyable and rewarding experience.