Best chow yet

Please enjoy with your favorite beverage, cold beer, root beer, and “shoot shoot, balut!”
Iced tea or fresh lemonade made in the shade, or a cold cola and you’re ready to rolla,
have a glass of plain water when you make it on your own or place a takeout order.
 
You ain’t Nothing But a Salad
You ain’t nothing but a green salad
in a bowl just a wilting all the time
we gotta eat you fresh and quickly
some olive oil and apple cider vinegar
squeeze on a little lemon and lime
tuna, macaroni, or German potato
some need mayo some no tomato
Italian, Ranch or blue cheese dressing
if no time for all that homemade messing
mac and cheese made with elbow macaroni
a grilled cheese sandwich fried with baloney
love my Caesar salad apple walnut Waldorf
add cabbage and into a buffet it will morph
salad tomorrow is fresh local fruit. shoot!
 
You ain’t Nothing But a Pizza
You ain’t nothing but a pizza baking in a pan
you ain’t nothing but pizzas just bakin in pans
taste good so I want a large slice in both my hands
you might be pepperoni mushroom maybe plain cheese
you might be thick or thin crust, ham, pineapple Hawaiian
you might be a supreme with any kind of meat you please
you might be vegetarian or a combination to keep trying
as you know though you gotta start with some dough
and usually some kind of tomato or marinara sauce
some cheeses mozzarella and parmesan is one way to go
chopped olives onions peppers and spread them across
bake till all those toppings and cheeses turn gold and bubbly
I’ll keep making baking eating pizza on that you can trust
even when I’m old toothless gray and can’t chew the crust.
 
You ain’t Nothing But a Hotdog
You ain’t nothing but a hotdog and a bun
chowin down just a going down my throat
you ain’t nothing but three big chili dogs
guarantee gonna make my stomach bloat
some say you are a high-class Viennese sausage cat
a plump Polish sausage cousin or some spicy hot Italian
but you just a Texas hot skinny wiener dog or fat
on top I want mustard chopped onions or scallions
gotta have you any way boiled steamed or fried
gotta have at least two or three of you going inside
gotta have you at the ballpark BBQ or nearest beach
just gotta have you and your soft buns in my reach
you ain’t nothing but a hotdog with yellow mustard
finish you off with some soft vanilla ice cream custard.
 
You ain’t Nothing But a Hamburg
(Fourth in this quartet was published in the Saipan Tribune on July 4, 2019.)

Casserole Dishes Wants and Wishes
Shall we begin with some macaroni memories
oven baked delicious dishes made with relative ease
and no boxes of prepared mixes if you please or
ersatz cheese tubes of yellow goop you squeeze
many different casseroles are high in calories
try Italian pastas, potato, vegetable, and frijoles
Boston baked beans with molasses and ham appease
most every appetite of hungry groups of hes and shes
scalloped potatoes and sausage gone none left to freeze
how about baked lasagna or pepper and sausage zitis
elbow macaroni and cheese cream chipped beef and peas
try all these casseroles whatever your appetite wishes
bake some today and forget about washing the dishes
give thanks you didn’t forget simple beans and franks.

Joey ‘Pepe Batbon’ Connolly (Special to the Saipan Tribune)
Joey “Pepe Batbon” Connolly is a retired teacher and has been named a poet laureate of Tinian. He has taught English in CNMI public schools for the past 30 years. He has also taught in Alaska, New Orleans, and Las Vegas.