Persistent Singultus

Don’t panic about the term “singultus.” It’s a Latin word and medical term for “hiccups” we seem to have tons of beyond the hospital since recent past. For our purposes, we’d cruise in and out of issues and turn ‘em into humor. We need some laughter to sashay our way out of the disastrous economic rut everywhere.

Herculean: The local economy is in such shambles it would take over three decades to revive, if at all. But then, screw comprehensive planning; like it the way it is employing the ad hoc method.

Retirement: Retirees are exhausted, chasing down information about the political restoration of their 25 percent. Well, it seems a magical show of “now you see it, now you don’t.” Weren’t born yesterday, lai! But we love our two-headed snake!

The facts be damned, the fund settlement’s unfunded liability of some $791 million would turn this issue acrimonious for many moons to come. It would consistently turn scarce revenue into Pacific soup. Isn’t this redundancy insanity in itself—juggling the same numbers hoping for different results?

Failure: Then came an offer from a messiah to introduce a new program. Didn’t you people just bankrupt the current program? Folks know you’re only waving a paper tiger. Get us the real McCoy, pal! Didn’t we go from “bonus” to “bogus”? Sussss!

Budget: How do we get politicians to proactively support the financial needs of CHC? Put them in the ICU then begin a conversation that you ran out of medication and supplies: Out of stock!

Casino policy: Every senatorial district has its own casino policy. Each must work on its own so it eventually stops feeding off a hog’s back, so to speak. Pitch in, pal, for the pain, hardship, and suffering are the same all over! Breastfeeding would soon end too! Did you get that, pal?

Scholarships: Too many scholarship programs you wonder if the source is the same. If so, then it’s time to centralize the whole thing. Why should a student from other islands be getting more scholarship funds over Saipan students? Fair is fair especially when the source is the same!

Integrated energy: Any reasonable reduction in power bills would be a monumental task. Not with CUC literally lurching with fiscal issues to fulfill federal court stipulated orders.

Translated: We would be paying higher power bills as a result of the agency’s day late and dollar short mode of planning for eventualities. Can’t even ascertain if there would be power tomorrow. A receivership is in order and the federal court’s intervention should aid destitute end users.

Culture: Over the years there’s resurgence in sentiment about the need to preserve the indigenous culture. Sounds great! But haven’t we openly violated what we preach as to forget that our feet are now larger than our mouths?

We have grand contradictions that are despicably humiliating, e.g., no more outsiders but simultaneously approved casino for 5,000 more guest workers or encouraging use of the local vernacular by explaining it all in English? Hello?

Vocabulary: An incumbent legislator was asked about policy. Said he, “It’s when police officers go out on patrol.” Oh? Is diplomacy about high school diplomas?

Nobamacare: The NMI is exempt from Obamacare, though no explanation was ever given what the exemption mean for both retirees and regular employees. I do know health premiums would continue increasing.

This is explained by the reduction in the pool of contributors that passes costs to those who opt to stay. Can someone do us the common decency and give us a “dog and pony show” what happens upon exemption? Or do we second-guess our way through it all?

DPL funds: Before I left DPL I secured, via a certified question to the court, use of the agency’s “segregated funds.” The court agrees with my view that it can’t be used for land compensation. Why do you think the agency’s budget submission to the Legislature is for “informational purposes only?”

Hellish hole: There’s a firewall of increases since recent past. The livelihood of the multitude has deteriorated to subterranean poverty level. And Da Boys are still singing, “Ke sera, sera!” Call it our hellish hole in paradise! Is there such a place? It must be one or the other.

Moreover, some 3,000 of our folks living across the country have gathered in Oregon for a Labor Day softball game. Gubernatorial tandems have seen fit to gravitate to the event in hopes of pitching their wares.

At issue is their forced relocation that didn’t evolve out of a desire to leave the islands other than gloom and doom for the last decade. This isn’t hard to fathom, is it? Like my bruddah said, “We left because you turned paradise into a hellish hole!”

DB checks: Around grocery stores and poker arcades you see satisfied smiles from DB members who finally received their money. Think through wisely how that income is spent. With nothing to hang your hat on after 20 years in government service, how do you deal with expenses in your golden years? Yep!

There’s trouble ahead for this group as it wrestles with medical bills and livelihood issues. Some may make it to Medicaid. But such inclusion fast tracks depletion of federal funds that braces the program. When every penny is spent, we begin shouldering the entire nine yards. Have we the revenue to cover this future need?

Rock bottom: Around the villages you see faces cringing as folks literally struggle to make ends meet, be it NAP coupons or use of Medicaid cards. Difficult envisioning what happens when the cost of Medicaid takes the pathway of the settlement fund. Would we have the gall to cut healthcare services by 25 percent?