Richard in the House of Horus

Some female friends were upset that I focused the series on the House of Horus on just the women. Horus is a male god, son of Ra-Osiris and Isis, the goddess of fertility along the Nile. Falcon-headed Horus just lent his name to the onomatopoeically coined female label by misguided missionaries out to condemn the practice of temple sex rituals. A sixth installment is thus in order.

Internet denizens have probably received a copy of the paparazzi-caught photo of Prince William of Wales taken while the royal prick was spouting royal showers at a sporting event. We are inclined then to call this installment a “Dear William” letter, but we will defer to one of his ancestors, Richard the Lion-Hearted.

So, “Dear Dick.” We will try to catch the highly transient clients in what is now becoming a highly transient group of devotees in the House of Horus.

At the low end of the market are the “barracks” that have evolved for those engaged in similar activities like farming and construction. As has now become a slogan in many places, “Everyone is single in Saipan.” The absence of abundant disposable income does not bode well with frequency of service, but where the demand is there, the service is delivered.

A nu gong (woman worker) relates how she befriended a taxi driver when the authorities put the heat on the collorums (Pinoy for illegal rides). After a couple of long interval trysts at her place, he suggested that he pick her up after hours and they’d go to his place for an early morning repast. Feeling magnanimous, nu ren consented. He picked her up in a half-decent slightly rattling car. She did not mind; there were glances of affection between the two and in her profession, this did not come often so she relished it when it came.

His room was bare but clean, sparse but organized, rather tastefully Spartan. She felt good and “at home” until, after some unhurried groping, she noticed two other guys in the room, grinning like a couple of puppies about to be served cream milk. The driver explained that he will forgo the discount price she usually expects from him if she would do all three of them. Nu ren discontinued patronage of the taxi service the following day.

Filipino construction workers tend to drink their sorrows together while competing on who can best vocally render My Way and The Impossible Dream before the captive non-English speaking but amiable former residents along the Chiang Jiang river. After a couple of beers, they pool their hard-earned resources together and see if they can all afford to each get one of the girls they had been avoiding buying a drink for, to execute a quick tumble. Afterwards, they head home, get cleaned up and attend early Mass to wash their sins away.

The Hanggul-speaking businessman tends to be, well, business-like. At the appointed hour, usually called-in two hours before, he shows up in his SUV paid for by half-a-dozen poker parlor and landrymat combos. He showers quickly, effects a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am routine, and then flops down for a back-rub and a 30-minute nap. Then he heads to dear wife and the private school matriculated kids. He drives them to the obligatory tutorial service while wife prepares the bulkogi and kimchi for dinner. She is not ignorant of his dallying nor is he apologetic about it. Nu ren is not unhappy with the regularity and dependability of income, either. The books are balanced and personnel are happy. What more does one want from a business?

Older Koreans, the kind who gather for brunch at Mickey D’s on Middle Road, tend to shy away from the music rooms, but will entertain their guests in sushi bars over jinro-on tea, or Santori whiskey. When it is an all-male crowd, the company of younger girls is often called for though the sharing of fluids is confined to the raised jigger. Girls have been known to decry participation in these rites since the pay is measly hourly rates, tips stingy, and invariably results in a hangover in the morning!

Younger Hanggoks tend to be tourists, and they like to carouse the night away in rambunctious songs, wild dances, and overflowing cups. They usually contract a lady’s time for the whole evening. Tour guides drive them to one of the magnificent seven known Korean music rooms on island. The girls find the bouts exhausting as the ginseng-induced highs seemed to ferociously long.

The Japanese tourists have been known to bring their own “Shinjuku” escorts, or rely on the abundant supply of single ladies who come to the island for adventure and sightseeing tours. There is, however, a kinky side to Nippon sexuality that has been the object of psychological studies and art form depictions, and our ladies have been known to adopt well in catering to the demand. Except for a couple of bruises usually sent off with due compensation and long apologies, talk of this market is rare but nevertheless acknowledged as being there.

Older Japanese of means just take on “mistresses.” For a fee, they come on island quarterly and assignations are set on an annual calendar, sometimes continuing even when a nu ren had already returned home. Rendezvous on Saipan is more on the higher end of the industry’s offering, and happily, outside of the scheduling of tour operators and guides.

Service to uniformed personnel often begins at bars and strip joints where the cover charge is waived when a ship is on port. Our ladies do report gentlemanly conducts and the increased use of the rabbit (like the energizer that goes on, and on, and…) since it was popularized in the TV show “Sex and the City.” Today’s male, after all, has discovered the pleasure of pleasuring the pleasurer as a skill in the process of refinement, and the ladies of the night are only too happy to obliged when they chance upon such chivalrous practice of the modern times.

We’ve skipped the tribe of the retiring or retired mainland male out for a second domestic life in the tropics, or the local who signed the dotted line three times for three IRs for two Chinese nu ren and a Pinay. We did want to confirm the truth of the adage: Moneyed Dicks do make the world go round! Or, get the round-the-world service. Whatever.