Oil money loses, we win

It was a great victory for the “forces of rvil.” It was a great victory for the people of the Commonwealth. It was pretty embarrassing to Pew and their breathless followers, the pew-ites.

Of course we are talking about the recently designated marine monument. Those that wanted some kind of additional protection in our waters got it but without the ham-handed no-take approach that the Pew-sters demanded. Those who wanted perpetual indigenous access to those areas for fishing got it. Those who wanted unlimited navigation into and out of the areas or wanted access for recreation, diving and research with local government permitting got it. Those who wanted access to extraction of mineral resources got it. Those who wanted our close in territorial waters and submerged lands given back to us got it.

Those who wanted to waltz in and designate a monument to themselves with no access and no-take and no extraction, fortunately, did not get what they wanted. The Pew-sters got a monument, but they got their collective egos handed to them in a sack as they watched their pet project completely dismantled and a whole new plan put into action that finally took into account the wishes and rights of the citizens of the CNMI.

Here’s how it happened: Once it became apparent that some sort of monument was going to be designated come hell or high water, the proud Forces of Evil began working lots of overtime to get something out of it for the people of the Commonwealth and to make sure the final form allowed access into and extraction from the monument areas. Through talks and lengthy negotiations with Connaughton and other forces inside the Bush administration, we got major concessions including reduction of the onerous 200-mile boundary to only 50 miles around our northernmost islands. We got them to designate the actual Trench as a monument and we got them to allow unfettered access to those waters for fishing. We worked diligently to make extraction of valuable minerals possible and we got them to start the wheels in motion to give us full rights to our submerged lands around all of the 14 islands in the Northern Marianas.

The only way this could have worked out better was for the U.S. to back off completely and realize that these waters and lands belong to the indigenous who have protected them for thousands of years. The U.S. has the armed power to force the issue and chose to use it. As Lino Olopai put it, we wound up trading that which we already owned for use of that which we already owned in an area we already owned. But at least we got that much. Laura Bush and her dancing partner pew-ites wanted the whole shooting match, leaving the indigenous as beggars in our own waters. They lost. At least we proud Forces of Evil got some important rights returned to our citizens. The combined efforts of Gov. Fitial, Speaker Palacios, yours truly and others stood in front of the federal steamroller and got it to stop in its tracks and reverse course. We worked hard to protect your interests…but that is our job. We are proud to do it. Proud to have ousted the real pewish evildoers. Proud to be Chamorro. Proud to be Carolinian. Proud to be citizens of the Commonwealth in voluntary political alliance with the USA.