Flat tents and big tops

There’s flat beer, a bad thing. Flat top hair cuts, a very good thing. Flat tire, bad. Flat stomach, good.

And there’s flat broke, which describes the Commonwealth. A flat broke government is presumably a bad thing.

Which brings us to rumors of a flat tax. Presumably a good thing.

The Commonwealth is going to hyperventilate itself breathless over the flat tax gig. As yet, however, no solid flat tax scheme has landed on the Legislature’s desk. I am aware of some of its main points in preliminary guise, but I can’t see any use in huffing and puffing about something that isn’t in final format yet.

When the proposal takes the stage formally, then we in the chattering classes can all jump into the rhetorical circus and play our roles. This is going to be great fun, since the phrase “flat tax” makes the world’s socialists go absolutely BONKERS, and the CNMI’s usual suspects will be no exception…

…but the calliope is just warming up, so let’s start the three-ringed show later. Right now, the flat tax circus tent is still, well, flat.

* * *

But, over here in Ring #2, the tent has one heck of a lively party. These are the gold bugs.

Unless you’ve been hiding in a cave, you’re aware that gold has zoomed past the $700 per ounce level.

Sweet, baby! You may recall that back when gold was about half of today’s price, I wrote in this very column about how I had some of my piggy bank into it. As my Tribune article of Dec. 27, 2003 stated:

“…I personally believe that gold is going to be more expensive in three years than it is now…” Not only was my direction (up) right, but I’d say my three-year benchmark was a pretty good call for the zoom-zoom part of the price graph.

Anyway, as gold fever is sweeping the world, I have taken my winnings off of that table. The world is abuzz with gold talk, so we’ll hit that topic again soon.

* * *

Meanwhile, over here in Ring #3, it’s mail call under the big top.

This from a U.S. reader, a professor, no less:

“About the time our original 13 states adopted their new constitution, Alexander Tyler, a Scottish history professor at the University of Edinburgh, had this to say about the fall of the Athenian Republic some 2,000 years prior:

“A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot exist as a permanent form of government. A democracy will continue to exist up until the time that voters discover they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidates who promise the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that every democracy will finally collapse due to loose fiscal policy, which is always followed by a dictatorship.

“The average age of the worlds greatest civilizations from the beginning of history, has been about 200 years. During those 200 years, these nations always progressed through the following sequence:

1. From bondage to spiritual faith;

2. From spiritual faith to great courage;

3. From courage to liberty;

4. From liberty to abundance;

5. From abundance to complacency;

6. From complacency to apathy;

7. From apathy to dependence;

8. From dependence back into bondage “

Thanks, professor.

It took the U.S about 230 years to make it to Step 7. By contrast, the Commonwealth went there immediately, skipping the first six steps, which is mighty efficient!

(Ed Stephens Jr. is an economist and columnist for the Saipan Tribune. E-mail him at Ed@SaipanEconomist.com)